In preparation for the upcoming Wild Hearts show at the Greek, I’m diving into the music and albums of all three of the phenomenal women who are performing – Angel Olsen, Julien Baker, and Sharon Van Etten. I’m listening to Sharon’s latest album, We’ve Been Going About This All Wrong, today and chose the opening track as today’s song of the day.
The album is moody and soulful and full of emotion. I’m having a rough go of it today (last few days, really), and this album is helping to soothe me, while I relate to the feel of the music, too. Sometimes it helps to dive into the emotions, with a connective feel soundtrack. Today that is what feels just right, to me.
“Rain, sleep tonight.
hold hands all night.”
Nights have been hard. Sleep far from reachable. I lie in bed and the thoughts crowd my mind, all the worries, all the possible outcomes, all the ways I feel like I’m failing, drowning. I listen to podcasts, to an audiobook, to music. Some of it helps, eventually, and I finally fall into sleep. The dreams come then. Dark and full of panic and fears. The most recent I was screaming in the dream, part of me lucid, hoping to wake myself up. I know it is all this uncertainty turning into motion pictures in my mind. I know that things work out the way they are meant to. I know I should trust the process, the universe, myself. But its so fucking hard sometimes.
This song is helping. It feels like it is singing with me, holding my hand in the dark, understanding the places my mind keeps going.