I’ve been loving Liz since 1993, since Exile In Guyville. Since I first heard “Fuck And Run”. There was so much truth in her lyrics, so many things I could relate to, so many things I tacked on to the song. My body had never been safe, so I started not being safe to my body. I unsafed it in so many ways. I gave up a lot of hope back then. I took some new hopes on back then, too. No regrets, but it’s all so complicated, looking back.
Music has always been able to speak when I can’t. Music has given me words when I had none. Music has helped me to not be silent.
Today’s Song Of The Day, “Fuck And Run”, is one of my all-time favorite Liz Phair songs. What are some of yours?
“Fuck And Run” by Liz Phair
Song Of The Day – May 3, 2021
“I want all that stupid old shit,
like letters and sodas.”
Exile In Guyville, Liz Phair’s 1993 debut album, was created as a song-by-song response to The Rolling Stones’ 1972 album, Exile On Main St. Liz has said that the song “Happy” from The Rolling Stones’ Exile has Keith Richards begging for some lovin’ to keep him satisfied. Liz’s “Fuck And Run” from her Exile is her answer back, a lonely lament about casual sex. (source: Songfacts)
“And whatever happened to a boyfriend,
the kind of buy who tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a boyfriend,
the kind of guy who makes love cause he’s in it?”
Liz has also said, about “Fuck And Run”:
“I don’t think the facts were exactly right, there was no one encounter that I went home and just wrote the song about—I think I had a couple different hook-ups where I wound up in someone’s room who was a perfectly nice person but I wasn’t ready to have sex with them. And we either had sex or almost had sex—some situations that I had gotten myself into, wanting something that wasn’t what I got and coming away with that confusion of I participated willingly but I still felt wrong about it. I couldn’t find a place to be in the world where things happened in a way that felt like they should.
It was a song lamenting my inability to find what I was looking for and placing myself in situations that felt bad. Every night you think, This is it, I’m gonna do it right this time, and then you wake up in the morning like, Nope, once again I feel like I’m harming myself trying to find love, which is something that I want to find. It was really hard. It’s still really hard, nothing’s changed.” (source: Elle)
For a very long time I looked for love in any and all advances of affection. Sex was never just sex, no matter the context or intention of the other person, I pinned that big “L-word” onto it. I defined it as love, even if I didn’t feel it. This led me to make big decisions before we were ready, before I was ready, before I really know how I felt, or what I wanted. It led to a lot of hurt, disappointment, regret. I was looking for something I couldn’t honestly define, and was left wanting. This song hit that part of me that did this on repeat, though it took me a long time to get what it was saying, to get what I was feeling, in response.
Music is magic. I truly believe that.
To hear more Liz Phair, and to support her music, go here.