Today is the first day of my new year. Yesterday was my second pandemic/quarantine birthday. Thinking of it that way is pretty surreal. I realized yesterday that my 51st year was my first year since going to concerts that I didn’t go to a concert/see live music (that wasn’t streamed). It was also the first year since I was probably 4 or 5 years old that I didn’t see a movie in a theater. There are so many people I didn’t get to see in person, hug in person, share time and food and conversation with in person. I’m definitely hoping all that changes this year.
I did keep writing though. Music still played. I watched A LOT of movies. I started yoga. I became vegan. I re-started therapy and started meds. I was diagnosed. I had a few breakdowns. I had a few getting back ups. I had quite a few starting overs. And today, yes, I am starting over – again. And today, I’m feeling a little bit better, a little more in my skin, and there is music playing.
Music. Music. Music.
Music always helps.
Give Me Five – March 24, 2021
Song 1: “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star
“You live your life,
you go in shadows.
You’ll come apart and you’ll go black.
Some kind of night into your darkness.
Colors your eyes with what’s not there.”
The number of times I’ve listened to this song is close to endless. Though I do remember the first time hearing it – along with the album – I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times it has replayed in my life, or how many moments and memories are attached to it.
A lot. More than a lot. A lot x infinity, maybe.
It has weaved itself into stories I’ve written, into poetry, into kisses, into love letters, into love and loss and longing.
It is one of my forever favorites.
To learn more/hear more from Hope Sandoval, and to support her music – click here.
Song 2: “Oblivious” by Aztec Camera
“I hope it haunts me ’til I’m hopeless.
I hope it hits you when you go.”
I’m “music-deep” in nostalgia today.
I woke up with it. The need to hear some memory-triggering tunes. It will most likely be an all-day thing, not just a five-song thing. Sometimes we need to indulge in a little looking back.
I think I was in the passenger seat on the way to the ocean with a boy I had pretty big feelings for when I first heard this song. I can almost feel the bumps in the road, the thump of my heart when I looked over at him, and the way the air smelled a little bit salty.
I can hear our voices singing-a-long.
Song 3: “Kooks” by David Bowie
“Will you stay in our lover’s story?
If you stay you won’t be sorry,
’cause we believe in you.
Soon you’ll grow.
so take a chance,
with a couple of Kooks,
hung up on romancing.”
If you asked me on a particular day, or time of day, my answer of “what is your favorite David Bowie song?” may change depending on my mood, my music-leanings that day, the shape and size of the moon, or “just because”. That said, the top 5 that make there way back-and-forth, from first spot to fifth, and in-between, pretty much stay the same.
“Kooks” is a wild card. An alternate. A sometimes in the five-fray tune. Today is one of those wild card days.
I’ve never heard a song that more felt like me, at 23, with my first child.
Young and a little dumb and so romantic.
I’m still a little dumb sometimes and I’m still pretty romantic. Not so young anymore.
Regardless, this song still resonates.
Song 4: “If You Leave” by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
“I touch you once,
I touch you twice,
I won’t let go at any price.
I need you now like I need you then.
You always said we’d meet again.”
I woke up with this in my head. The song, and the scene, from Pretty In Pink.
Song 5: “Dance This Mess Around” by The B-52’s
“Remember when you held my hand?
Say, remember when you were my man?”
My forever favorite B-52’s song.
To hear more, and to support The B-52’s music, go here.
What songs have you been listening to obsessively this week?