Human behavior. It is all over the place, isn’t it? Good, bad, and in every place in-between. I shudder and ache at the bad sides, feeling my heart split into pieces at the violence in this world, the hatred, the racism, the carelessness, the greed. But, my heart also flies and expands, filling with light, at the love and kindness, creativity and compassion, that is also out there in the world. We are all suffering so much these days.
In my fifty-one years of life, I’ve never seen anything like this pandemic. Never has there been something that has touched every inch of this world. Maybe art? Maybe music? I certainly prefer that to this virus. There is so much fear, so much sickness, so much loss right now. And then there is all this violence and hate car-crashing into this era of being locked down and scared to breathe. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how you can hate and harm someone because of how they look. Because of where they are from. Because of the color of their skin. Because of who they love. Because of who they are.
I know that I have tremendous privilege as a white CIS woman living in the United States. Though I’ve had bad things happen to me, and though I do walk around in fear sometimes, it is not the same. If I am pulled over by the police I don’t fear my life. If I am walking around in this world I don’t fear being killed for just being in my skin. Sure, I worry about assault and sexual harm. It is hard not to when you have been a victim of such things, more than once. Still. I know its not the same.
Right now, I don’t know what to do or say to help besides send emails and make phone calls asking for the right things to be done. Donate when I can. Check-in on those I love who are hurting, who are scared, who feel alone. And come November, make my vote be known. We can’t heal with the leaders in charge right now. We really can’t. When the top is so full of hate and racism and wrong it’s hard for that not to trickle down. It’s hard for that not to have an impact.
I’m doing the best I can right now. I miss so many things. I mourn many things, too. But, I do have hope in humanity. I can’t help it. I’ve always been a hopeful optimist. I’ve always loved humans. I’ve always believed in what we can all be.
And I believe in the power of art and music. And in words. Use yours and keep believing. Put your best human behavior out into the world. Please.
“Human Behaviour” by Björk
from the album, Debut (1993)
Song Of The Day
“They’re terribly, terribly, terribly moody of human behavior,
then all of a sudden,
turn happy and they and my here-after.
to get involved in the exchange of human emotions,
is ever so,
ever so satisfying and they and my here on –
and there is no map and chair, too.”
The first time I heard Björk I was living in downtown Fullerton in an upstairs apartment down the street from the Winged Heart Cafe. I was in-between so many things. I was falling apart and I was piecing myself back together. I was leaving a relationship. I was falling in love with someone who would change my life in so many ways. I was obsessing over music, but really, that’s no different than any days that came before 1993, and all the days that have come after.
I bought Debut at Tower Records. I played it in my car on the way home, and for days after. The album was one of 5 CD’s I had that I played over and over again – obsessively – for all of 1993. There were other albums I loved, but this one, along with 4 others (a Top 5 for a later post maybe), was what I listened to the most. Parts of me, at twenty-four, in 1993, are scattered in the songs on this album.
My favorite song from Debut, in 1993, was “Big Time Sensuality”. But lately, my favorite track is the first one – “Human Behaviour”. It sings to be lately in so many ways.
I saw Björk play live for the first time the following year. In May of 1994, my best friend and I went to see her play at Glam Slam, the club that Prince owned, in downtown Los Angeles. It’s actually the only time I’ve seen her perform live. Somehow, I’ve always missed her when she’s come again to Los Angeles. I hope I get to see her play sometime in the future. I hope we get to have live music again sometime in the future.
What is your favorite track on Debut?