I have way more energy today than I thought I would, especially since I barely slept last night. Maybe it’s a third or fourth wind, or maybe it’s me, chasing my shadow, running to stand still, moving fast in order to not think too much. There is a lot to avoid thinking about right now. A lot that has fear attached, and uncertainty. I’m better with certainty or the illusion of. I’m better knowing what I’m facing, even if it’s bad. But this unknown is hard. So, I keep moving. I write. I play music. I work. I bake. I make lunches for everyone. I read. I take notes on what I read. I ask questions and make lists. I watch an episode of Schitt’s Creek with lunch because it makes me laugh because it helps me to not think too much.
Routine helps. Sweating helps. Movement. Dance. Exercise. Making playlists. Making other lists. Texting. Missing. Wishing this was all over. The days bleed into each other and I try to make them mean something more. I try to design them differently. Theme them. Name them. Add things to them to set them apart. But they are all just becoming one after another, one, one, one.
There is so much music to listen to though. There are so many movies to watch and words to create. Maybe I can escape into the desert with my novel characters, or hang out at a band rehearsal with Alexa and James from my other novel. Maybe I could just work on my novels and finish one of them. I have the time now, don’t I?
That’s the funny part though. I don’t feel like I have any time.
Get up early, girl. Set priorities and parameters. Now’s the time to do this FINALLY.
And while you’re at it – play these Top 5 Music Obsession songs on LOUD.
Top 5 Music Obsessions – April 6, 2020
Follow along for the month of April on Spotify and YouTube
1. “One Last Try” by Ane Brun
from the album, It All Starts With One (2011)
“Is this the end of the thread?
The thread that led me to lose my head,
over something that started with wonder.”
2. “Go Or Go Ahead” by Rufus Wainwright
from the album, Want One (2003)
“You got me writing lyrics on postcards,
then in the evenings,
looking at the stars.
But the brightest of the planets is Mars.”
3. “You’re The One” by Kate Bush
from the album, The Red Shoes (1993)
“It’s just everything I do,
we did together,
and there’s a little piece of you,
in whatever.”
4. “Softcore” by Tamaryn
from the album, Cranekiss (2015)
“And you will never be alone.
And you will never be alone.
And you will never be alone.
And you will never be alone.”
5. “Plainsong” by The Cure
from the album, Disintegration (1989)
“I think it’s dark and it looks like it’s rain, you said..
And the wind is blowing like it’s the end of the world, you said
And it’s so cold, it’s like the cold if you were dead.
And you smiled for a second.”
Top 5 Music Obsessions – April 2020
