I’ve been swimming in so much music lately, swirling around in it, making playlists, spinning new albums, and hitting repeat on so many tracks. It’s hard to narrow down my music obsessions right now which is pretty cool since for months now music and I were drifting apart. I know my unhappiness and anxiety played a part in that drift. But, I also know that music’s absence was increasing my unhappiness and anxiety. Music is medication to me. It heals and soothes me, gives me something to look forward to every day, and fills me with creativity, and bliss.
I’m tired of having so many hard days. My emotional landscape is treacherous lately. I need snow tires and chains, 4-wheel drive options, and bulletproof doors and windows. It’s hard to navigate all of it, and it’s even harder to decide what the best course of action is. My instincts say one thing, my practical mind says another, and my heart is ricocheting off both ends. All I know is I want to be happier. All I know is I want to stop feeling so sad and miserable all the time.
I know the anxiety will be with me always. She may ebb and flow, but she’s always there, like a shadow, or a limb. I’m not necessarily okay with that, but I’m learning better ways to live with her. But the sadness and the unhappiness – those things I know I can get past, get over, make changes that will help improve all that. I just need time to think and decide what that all looks like.
For now, as I think and as I decide, I’m going to keep swimming in music. Music like the following five songs that I’m obsessing over this week:
Top 5 Music Obsessions featuring Ambar Lucid
November 5, 2019
1. “Questioning My Mind” by Ambar Lucid
“Remember when we felt the same?”
I’ve been obsessing over Ambar Lucid’s sound and style ever since reading about her in an LA Times article. I love the mixing of English and Spanish, the indie pop sensibilities, and her voice.
I get excited every time there’s a new track of Ambar’s to play.
2. “Chateau” (acoustic) by Angus and Julia Stone
“We can go to the Chateau Marmont,
and dance in the hotel room.
We can run with the headlights on,
’til we got nothing to lose.”
I fell hard for Angus and Julia Stone’s harmonies and style back in 2010 when I first heard the song “And The Boys”. The entire album, Down The Way, became one of my favorites of the year. I’ve been loving the duo SO MUCH ever since.
I have a thing for hotel rooms. A dreamy thing. It’s probably part of my gypsy soul love of travel and road trips and staying somewhere new. I’ve never been to the Chateau Marmont, but I’ve written about it. Maybe someday I’ll stay there for a night, sit on a balcony, on a patio, or by the pool, and write some more.
3. “Me and My Dog” by Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus
from the album, boygenius (2018)
“I had a fever,
until I met you –
now you make me cool.”
Bliss. This song is bliss. I love Phoebe Bridgers (see next song), and Lucy Dacus (see last song), too. Julien is new to me. Together, they take my breath away. I’m obsessed with their harmonies, with this song, and the entire 6 song album.
Can they please play some shows together – somewhere near – sometime soon?
4. “Motion Sickness” (Demo – Bonus Track) by Phoebe Bridgers
from the album, Stranger In the Alps (Deluxe Edition) (2018)
“I have emotional motion sickness.
Somebody roll the windows down.
There are no words in the English language,
I could scream to drown you out.”
I feel like I have emotional motion sickness so much of the time. My emotions the roller coaster, multi-changing, borderline personality kind, they make me nauseous and dizzy like carsickness, like the way this girl used to get every morning when my Mom was a carpool Mom. This song hits me deep in the feels – especially this version.
Phoebe Bridgers. Fucking incredible.
5. “Dancing In the Dark” by Lucy Dacus
“Stay on the streets of this town,
and they’ll be carvin’ you up alright.
They say you gotta stay hungry –
I’m just about starvin’ tonight.
I’m dyin’ for some action.
I’m sick of sittin’ ’round here tryin’ to write this book.
I need a love reaction –
‘cmon now, baby,
gimme just one look.”
Oh, my stars I love a good Springsteen cover, especially one of my favorite Springsteen songs. Lucy Dacus is one of my current obsessions, and I’m loving her version of “Dancing In the Dark”.
Bring me all the covers – please!
What songs are you obsessing over this week?