One of the first songs I heard this morning was a Frightened Rabbit cover by Daughter (more on that later), and it reminded me of how much I love Daughter, and Elena Tonra’s voice. “Youth” was the first Daughter song I fell for. It may have been the first Daughter song I heard, as well, though I think the first might actually have been “Medicine” (another track of theirs I love). Today though, it’s “Youth” I’m revisiting for today’s Song of the Day.

“Youth” by Daughter
from the album, If You Leave (2013)
Song of the Day

“And if you’re still breathing,
you’re the lucky ones,
’cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun.
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong –
the lovers that went wrong.”

I woke up this morning feeling renewed. I think the change of things lately are finally starting to settle in, and I’m starting to feel more myself. It helps that there are less boxes surrounding me. I’m not good with clutter or feeling overwhelmed by things. I need space in the rooms I reside in. I need order around me because my insides are usually full of chaos. I’m not good with rooms that are full of too much – especially if all of that too much are boxes. Maybe its leftover pain from so much upheaval and moving, maybe it’s growing up in cluttered spaces, or perhaps it is all part of my PTSD/anxiety disorder. The need to have control where I can. Order in the chaos, at least in my living (and working) spaces.

I create better in rooms that feel open and put together. I breathe better, too. So, this morning as I sat in our new living room, with no boxes and some semblance of order (its getting there) I could breathe deeply. I was able to restart my meditation practice. I was able to sit back and think on all the things I want to accomplish today, and not feel overwhelmed by them.

I felt really good. I haven’t felt really good in a long time.

Most of all, I was breathing. Deeply.

I still am.

“Youth” (live at Air Studios) by Daughter

I’m grateful for the breathing. For the motivation and the good feelings. I’m grateful for not fixating on my past. That I feel more in the present right now. That I’m not looking back and that I’m not really looking forward either.

I feel very much in the now today.

Right now.

Breathing right now in.