This week has been rougher than the last, which I didn’t think would be possible. I woke up Monday morning with this hopefulness and peace, but it was quickly cut up into pieces as unforeseen stresses hit me. Then the fallout. I’m not handling stress and emotions well, and there have been consequences. I feel very alone.
Music is helpful. It’s not doing enough, but its something. It’s helping me hold it together, though I’m not doing that well either. All I can seem to do is go numb. But at least I stopped crying, and the panic has subsided. Sometimes you have to shut down for a while.
Today’s Top 5 Music Obsessions start out with a new musical discovery. I found Donna Missal via a friend’s Instagram story, where she was playing an album of hers. This track hurts but also feels relevant and comforting right now.
Next up is another new single off the upcoming Big Thief album. This one is so lovely. I can’t wait to hear the whole album.
Brendan Perry’s “The Captive Heart” came on after I was listening to today’s Song of the Day (Peter Murphy’s “A Strange Kind of Love”). I don’t think I ever delved into his 1999 album, Eye of the Hunter, but I’m doing just that today. Better late than never.
Yoko Ono, along with The Apples In Stereo (remember them? I’d almost forgot) have this keen collaboration that I’d never heard before. Thank you, Spotify Discovery for the introduction. This is a wonderful love song. Honest, realistic, and pure.
Last, but not least, is an epic number by Rufus Wainwright. Its been too long since Rufus and I shared audio space. I think it may be time to get reacquainted and do a Rufus-album-refresh.
Let’s give them a listen, shall we? While I try to breathe and wrap a blanket of numb (and music) around me.
Turn these 5 up loud. You won’t regret it.
Top 5 Music Obsessions – April 9, 2019
1. “Get Well” by Donna Missal
Pre-new-album single (2019)
“And maybe if we take some time,
to understand the weight we’ve felt,
if we could both apologise,
maybe we would both get well.”
This one stings but feels familiar, too. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of pain between us, instant defensiveness, swallowed resentments, and bad days every three days. Something has to change.
I know I can’t control anyone else but me, so change has to be with me, at least for me. For them. And for us. Someone has to take steps to change. Right now, it’s going to be me. I don’t want to hurt like this anymore.
If we are what we’ve claimed to be, we will make it to the other side. If not, then we were never meant to be. But this kind of pain, it isn’t meant to be. So we need to leave it behind. I’m going to leave it behind.
2. “Cattails” by Big Thief
Pre-new-album single (2019)
“And you don’t need to know why when you cry.
You don’t need to know why.”
I like this one even more than the first pre-album-single that came out.
I’m enthralled with Big Thief, and this upcoming new album is sure to be one of my favorites of 2019. I can already feel it.
I remember cattails from when I lived in Michigan, and when we drove cross-country to move there. I miss it. I’d love to take another trip across the country, but this time for adventure, and for writing inspiration.
3.”The Captive Heart” by Brendan Perry
from the album, Eye of the Hunter (1999)
“But then if I close my eyes,
I can see you standing there.
Your face in permanence smiles,
your lips a chalice.”
Full of gothy, esoteric, dreamy dark goodness. I forgot how much I enjoy Brendan Perry’s voice. I need to dig in deeper to this album, and maybe do a Dead Can Dance revisit.
It’s been far too long.
I need to do a Lisa Gerard revisit, too. Her voice always “slayed” me, in the best way.
Do you have a favorite Dead Can Dance, Brendan Perry, or Lisa Gerard song? Album?
4. “Nobody Sees Me Like You Do” by Yoko Ono, featuring Apples In Stereo
from the album, Yes, I’m a Witch (2007)
“I see your face with a trace of life,
being a wife and a woman.
If I ever hurt you, please, remember,
I wanted you to be happy.
Is there anything I want more,
More than your trust and understanding?”
Blame it on being raised in a big Beatles household, and then having my first marriage be with a John Lennon/anti-Yoko/blame Yoko man, but I never let myself know Yoko until recently.
Her poetry, songs like this, and the album it comes from, are all reason enough to have made the effort. I’m embarrassed that it took this long.
This is near perfect love song, especially because it doesn’t dance away from imperfection.
Its relatable and real, with a dash of melancholy, just the way I like my love songs, and love stories.
5. “Go Or Go Ahead” by Rufus Wainwright
from the album, Want One (2003)
“Forget about the ones that are crying.
Look in her eyes,
look in her eyes.
Forget about the ones that are crying.
Go or go ahead.”
This is an epic song. The stuff of stadiums, and big rock albums. The stuff of Freddie Mercury and Queen.
It makes me want to hear Rufus cover Queen (maybe he has already. If you know of it, share please).
I love the build. The slow start, the stirring middle, the emotional climax. Powerful, full of feeling, epic and BIG.
TOP 5 MUSIC OBSESSIONS – WEEK OF APRIL 8, 2019