Today’s been a challenge. Each step a detour needed, a wedge in-between, or a mountain to climb over. I feel the exhaustion setting in. Not sleeping much last night isn’t helping that part. Not at all. Being this tired and overwhelmed makes me feel emotional and rough. Raw. And far too vulnerable. I’m trying to push past those feelings. Facing them head-on and recognizing why they are here. I’m trying to keep my perspective in place. But, it’s hard. I need some strength today. Some warmth and love. A bit more than I typically need. But, those kind of things are hard to ask for. Most of my life they are not things I could ask for, or if I did, I’d either get no response, or the person I needed it most from wouldn’t be able to give it to me. Usually, because they were dealing with their own detours, wedges, and mountains. I’m more used to being the one there for other people or shutting down into myself. But, it’s hard doing it alone all the time.
Music is always there though. It never disappoints. Never judges. Always shows up. Never wavers or wanes. Music responds. Or at least plays.
That’s part of what writing about music has done for me. Besides my love and obsessions to songs and bands, artists and albums, leaning into music, digging in deep to it, and putting time, energy, and words into it helps me. This is me giving back to the music, but this is also me taking something from it to help me keep going. Music is so vital to me.
Top 5 Music Obsessions – Tuesday, January 8, 2019
1. “Homesick” by The Cure
from the album, Disintegration (1989)
“Just one more and I’ll walk away,
all the everything you win,
turns to nothing today.
And, I forget how to move,
when my mouth is this dry.
And, my eyes are bursting hearts,
in a blood-stained sky.”
The Disintegration album is my favorite by The Cure.
All the songs are steeped in meaning and memory. So much emotion is embedded in track-after-track.
“Homesick” always makes me cry. Today is no exception. It’s so full of pain and pathos, and that feeling of loss coming to take a swing. It also reminds me of coping skills, the not so good ones, and how they don’t really take anything away. Just dry mouths, bursting hearts, and teary-eyes looking up at the sky, sleepless, waiting for the sun to come.
“Homesick” (live) by The Cure
2. “Avalon” by Roxy Music
from the album Avalon (1982)
“Now the party’s over,
I’m so tired.
Then I see you coming,
out of nowhere.
in a motion.
or a notion –
One of my all-time favorite songs.
“Avalon” is one of the most beautiful and desirous songs I’ve ever heard. It seems ready-made to fall in love to, and/or fall into someone’s arms to. It is a song meant for making love. Don’t you think?
“Avalon” (live) by Roxy Music
3. “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” by Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond
Duets (2002) by Barbra Streisand and You Don’t Bring Me Flowers (1978) by Neil Diamond
“I remember when…
you couldn’t wait to love me,
used to hate to leave me.
Now after lovin’ me late at night…
When it’s good for you, babe,
and you’re feeling alright…
Well, you just roll over,
and you turn out the light.”
Another song that makes me cry.
Though when I first heard the song, learned it, and sang-a-long to it, I was about nine years old. I don’t think I got the real sentiment. Not really. I knew it was a break-up song, or a nearing a break-up song, but I didn’t understand all the complexities to the song, or to adult relationships. I understand it now, but then, not so much.
I remember though, either that year, or soon after, Barbra and Neil performed on the Grammy’s, and almost kissed at the end. Was it an act? Did they get swept up in the song? Or was that a moment of actual feeling between them? Hard to know. But, I remember watching it and hoping for that kiss that never came.
“You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” (live) by Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond
4. “Come With Me” by Gold Star
from the album, Big Blue (2017)
“Tell me what were you dreaming.
Tell me who were you trying to reach.”
Another Spotify Discover Weekly discovery.
This song, and Gold Star’s full album, Big Blue, reminds me of The Jayhawks and Wilco. That New Country/Americana/Indie Folk that I love so much. I’m going to have to dig into the entire album in the coming weeks.
5. “Seventeen” by Sharon Van Etten
from the upcoming album, Remind Me Tomorrow (2019)
“I used to be seventeen.”
I’ve been a fan of Sharon Van Etten for quite some time now.
This new track, “Seventeen”, from her upcoming album, was released today and I can’t get enough of it. It showcases her vocal range and sound so perfectly. It is making me even more anxious for the full album.
“Comeback Kid” is great, too.
“Comeback Kid” by Sharon Van Etten