I’ve loved Tanya Donelly since I heard Throwing Muses for the first time, somewhere around 1991, sitting with friends in the living room of my first apartment. It was small and cluttered with second-hand furniture, a myriad of posters and pictures, and so much music. I lived there with my boyfriend at the time. We didn’t have a TV. But, we had two stereos, a reel-to-reel, a few guitars, crates of records, and stacks of cassettes and CDs.
It was the only place I’d ever live, besides the house I grew up in, without a child. I became a mom soon after. I became pregnant before we even moved into that apartment (not that I knew it at the time). It’s weird to think about it that way. To realize that the majority of my adult life has been as a mother. It’s weird to think of my life at all without being a mother.
Today’s Song of the Day, by Tanya Donelly, is about motherhood. It is about love and relationships, too. It is about forever.
So, it was the early 90’s when I first encountered Tanya via Throwing Muses. Belly would come soon after, a band that Tanya fronted. Their first album, Star, is one of my all-time favorites. I feel hard and fast for it. It was 1993, which was a big year in my life. Then came their second album, King, in 1995, a year full of its own trunks full of memories. The ’90s, in so many ways, were more of my “coming-of-age” years than my teen years, in the ’80s, ever were.
It was the late 90’s when Tanya went solo with Lovesongs for Underdogs.
I felt like an “underdog” myself and was in the midst of a lot of issues, many which did a lot of damage to my self. But, there were good parts in those last years of the ’90s. I had found the internet and online communities that would change my life for the better. Lovesongs was with me through recovery and starting over. It was with me when I took big steps with love and change and a brand new life.
2002 and Beautysleep. “Keeping You” would always make me cry. This was the year my second child was born. It was a year of many wishes coming true. It was a year that was beautiful and hopeful, and full of promise. It didn’t last, not all of it, but I still remember the way it all felt. Today’s Song of the Day is that track from Beautysleep. “Keeping You”. And yes, all these years later, it still makes me cry.
“Keeping You” by Tanya Donelly
from the album, Beautysleep (2002)
“My heart’s not new.
I’m not like you.
I’ve loved and been loved well,
and badly, too.
My body’s been through everything.
I’ve used and been used,
I got over it.
There’s something that you learn on a tightrope…
just outside the spotlight there’s a big net waiting.”