My music therapy continues with Today’s Top 5 Music Obsessions. I’m in my office with the door closed and the music playing as loud as “at work” allows, drinking my third cup of coffee (no sleep requires caffeine and plenty of it), trying to quell my upset and anxiety, and my huge worry about a test I have to have tomorrow. Its hard when you are going through things and the person you are involved with is going through too much themselves to really be there for you. Its harder still when you and that person are going through really rough times together that only seem to get better in shorter and shorter blips. But, sometimes the only thing you can do is go through your own stuff, even if that means you can’t be there.
I feel alone, so I’m leaning on music. Music is always there.
Things happened too that brought back some terrible memories, and not just for me. But, I’m trying to push through all that. Ghosts from the past are not welcome in my head right now, not with all the other things I’m trying to get through. No wonder I can’t sleep though.
I have a lot to think about and consider right now. I have a lot of stress and worry right now, and things I need to decide. So, I’m leaning on music to help me with all that, as well. It started this morning with Ryan Adams (see today’s Song of the Day), which led into another Ryan song, and four other tracks I’m obsessing over today. I’m so into these five songs today.
Top 5 Music Obsessions – Tuesday, October 30, 2018
1. “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
from the A Star Is Born Soundtrack (2018)
In all the good times,
I find myself longing for change,
and in the bad times,
I fear myself.”
I saw A Star Is Born this past Sunday and loved it so much. The music is still playing in my head. I can’t seem to get enough of it. This song, and song 5 (see below) especially. Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga blew me away in this movie. This song, like the movie, cuts deep in me. I feel this song a lot today.
2. “Romeo and Juliette” by Lou Reed
from the album, New York (1989)
“Caught between the twisted stars,
the plotted lines,
the faulty map that brought Columbus to New York.
Betwixt between the East and West,
he calls on her wearing a leather vest.
the earth squeals and shudders to a halt,
a diamond crucifix in his ear is used to help ward off the Fear,
that he has left his soul in someone’s rented car.
Inside his pants,
he hides a mop,
to clean the mess that he has dropped,
into the life of lithesome Juliette Bell.”
I love the storytelling in this song. One of my favorite from Lou Reed. I’d say I woke with this song in my head, but I never slept last night. But it was there in the morning nonetheless, along with my alarm telling me it was time to get on with the day.
3. “A Better Son/Daughter” by Rilo Kiley
from the album, The Execution Of All Things (2002)
“But you’ll fight,
and you’ll make it through,
you’ll fake it if you have to,
and, you’ll show up for work with a smile.
And, you’ll be better,
and you’ll be smarter,
and more grown up,
and a better daughter
and a real good friend.
And, you’ll be awake,
you’ll be alert,
you’ll be positive,
though it hurts,
and you’ll laugh,
and embrace all your friends.
You’ll be a real good listener.
You’ll be honest,
you’ll be brave.
You’ll be handsome,
and you’ll be beautiful.
You’ll be happy.”
This song always makes me cry. Today is no exception.
4. “Crossed Out Name” by Ryan Adams and the Cardinals
from the album, Cardinology (2008)
“I wish I could tell you just how I felt.
I don’t pray,
and say goodnight to myself.
And, when I close my eyes,
I feel like a page,
with a crossed out name.”
I think I listened to this song at least twelve times last night, when I couldn’t sleep and was trying to write, the silence of the middle of the night blaring.
I keep hitting repeat on it today, too. While I’m still here trying to write.
5. “Maybe It’s Time” by Bradley Cooper
from the A Star Is Born Soundtrack (2018)
“Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.
Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.
It takes a lot to change your plans,
hella drain to change your mind.
Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.”
My current tied favorite from the movie A Star Is Born. This one is getting to me today. Making me cry more. Today is really rough.