This is a rough Monday. Hiding out beneath a sick day because I feel sick everywhere. No sleep for three days will do that. Very little food will, too. Existing on coffee and confusion. This is hard for me as I’m generally a happy person, a find the silver-lining, glass-half-full, hopeless hopeful everything kind of person. But, I feel like I was side-swiped by a semi. Every part of me hurts. And I feel frozen. Stuck. Overflowing with questions that are not answered. Overwhelmed with hurt and loss. Welcome to my broken heart.
For regular readers/listeners, I offer a half-warning/half-apology. This space is going to be full of sad for a good long while. But, there will be music. As much as music hurts right now, I need it. And, I need to write. So, you’ve all been warned. I don’t know when this all will subside. I don’t know how I will ever be over this.
Onward to the music.
Top 5 Music Obsessions featuring Paul Weller
May 21, 2018
1. “Wild Wood” by Paul Weller
“Now there’s no justice.
Only yourself that you can trust in.”
Might as well start it off with something that will hurt the most. Paul Weller. His music will forever be tied with us. And Wednesdays will never, ever be the same.
2. “Under the Milky Way” by The Church
“Wish I knew what you were looking for.”
Well fuck, this one hurts even more. It began in front of a record store that led to a game of Pandora name-that-song. A week later we would let this song wash over us in a hotel room with a view we called “ours”. I knew then. I was already falling.
3. “Lose You” by Pete Yorn
“Cause I’m gonna lose you.
Yes, I’m gonna lose you.
If I’m gonna lose you.”
Thank you for the music, Pete. Even if it makes me cry. I just never thought…
4. “Love Will Tear Us Apart” by Joy Division
“Love, love will tear us apart again.”
5. “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys
“If you should ever leave me,
though life would still go on, believe me.
The world could show nothing to me.”
This is so hard.
Thanks for listening. Thanks to Paul Weller, The Church, Pete Yorn, Joy Division, and The Beach Boys for keeping me feeling. These Top 5 Music Obsessions songs are on repeat.