“Touch, Feel and Lose” is one of my Favorite Songs by Ryan Adams. Though it is near impossible to narrow down the Songs I love to a Top 10 (though I did try back in 2013), this one will always be in that 10. I can even pinpoint when exactly it became one of my Top Favorite Ryan Tunes. Even though I’d had Gold for some time (it was my first Ryan Album), “Touch, Feel and Lose” hadn’t hit me hard until I heard a live version on YouTube from Paradiso, in 2001.
“Touch, Feel and Lose” (live, 2001) by Ryan Adams
originally from the Album, Gold (2001)
This live version knocked me off my feet and grabbed hold of my heart and shook it up. It bubbled up inside me like a bottle of soda that’s tumbled around before opening. I felt like the most heart-aching break-ups, or unrequited-ups were breaking open inside me and I FELT it all.
This is Blues right here.
This is raw exploding passion.
This is one of my all-time Favorite Songs.
“But, I never wanted to be your rollin’ train.
I never wanted to be your dancin’ shoes.
I just wanted you to love me.”
“Touch, Feel and Lose” – Album Version
Gold was the second studio Album by Ryan Adams. “Touch, Feel and Lose” is the fourteenth Track. It was released in September of 2001 on Lost Highway Records. It was certified Gold in the UK. Ryan had wanted it to be a double album, but Lost Highway condensed it instead to a single disc. Ryan was notoriously upset by this claiming that the label took the last five songs and turned them into a bonus disc that they only released with 50,000 copies, and that fans were cheated because of it. This “bonus disc” is known as “Side Four”, which Ryan considers the “fourth side” of the double Album it was meant to be, and that it became when they later released it on vinyl as a double LP edition. (from Wikipedia)
Since its “Throwback Thursday” I’ll share a throwback piece of writing of mine that I did that is inspired by the live version of this Song. The picture that I attached to this piece is by fantastic Artist, Jason Levesque.
keep art alive – art by Jason Levesque
“I knew I was never gonna talk to you tomorrow,
and oh, the birds how they sing.
If you were a bird could you sing me a song of sorrow?
‘Cause all I know from you is grief.”
In the thick haze of early morning Los Angeles traffic, in a messed up truck that’s not even her’s, Jane finds herself feeling sick of just about everything. Especially herself. “Touch, Feel and Lose” comes trickling out of the stereo. She reaches for the sound, turning it up until the crackling speakers begin to shake.
Ryan and his blues. They slip out and swirl around the cab of this messed up truck that’s not even her’s. For a moment Jane feels a little bit saved.
Loving someone who’s still in love with someone else. Good god. How stupid could she be? It’s the stuff of over-wrought tragedies, of tear-jerkers, of teen paperbacks and bad country songs. It’s too ridiculous to ever cry about.
Nevertheless, she starts to cry right as the chorus kicks in.
Strong arms and soulful eyes. You can mistake them for love, she thinks. Wrap yourself all up in a kind smile and broad shoulders. Curl up with a temporary fix. That’s all she’d said he was. Temporary.
So why is shaking like a junkie in week one of rehab?
The sun cuts through the morning muck turning smog into a kind of breathtaking brilliance. Everything ugly turns beautiful under the pink LA sky. In the right light, in the right key, with the window down and the volume up, it’s all so fucking beautiful.
Even this messed up truck that’s not hers.