I want to take a breath that’s true :: SOTD


“You live your life,
you go in shadows,
You’ll come apart and you’ll go blind.
Some kind of night into your darkness –
colors your eyes with what’s not there.”

Remy forgot the pathway back. The pulse at her wrist signaled danger and turn back and run, but she couldn’t feel it anymore. Everything was fading. Everything was turning into a swirling grey hue. Cold sweat beaded at the base of her neck. White flecks danced in her eyes, teasing consciousness, threatening to take her down into a black-out abyss. But it didn’t move her. Fear should have been there, nagging at her, tapping her shoulder, yanking her back to reality, but she didn’t feel it. Remy couldn’t feel anything at all.

They’d warned her that blood loss could take over if she stayed too long, that  the only choices then would be transformation, or death. The reminder of those words, their portents, seemed a made up story. Their voices became a far in the distance thing, barely audible to her now, a mumble lacking meaning, or context. Remy couldn’t grasp any of it. It was all too far away and she was too tired to get up and run.

“There’s nothing for you now. Nothing to go back for. Nothing to fight for. Nothing that matters anymore.”

The before of her life. The tiny minutiae of a day and all its trivial contents, Remy couldn’t summon a single one now.

What was my name then? What’s my name now? If I close my eyes will this all go away? Or come back? Can’t I just sleep here awhile, on this floor, under these warm lights? I’m so cold. That voice. That voice in my head (its in my head, isn’t it?) it sounds like a lullaby.

Remy could stand up later. Sort it out and return to wherever she came from. But now, right now, the fade needed her. She needed it, too.

Fade Into You (live) :: J. Mascis
originally from the album, Fade Into You

I love hearing/watching him play guitar here.

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