Leave (live) :: Glen Hansard
originally from the soundtrack album to Once (2007)

“Let go of my hand,
you said you came to,
now leave.”

It always happens, the unexpected mention of your name, and the flood begins. I keep thinking I’m done feeling, feeling you, feeling sadness, feeling loss, feeling love, feeling anything at all for you. But as the song sings, truth has a habit of falling out of your mouth, or in this case, out of my everything. Maybe it will never leave, these feelings, this sense of loss, the pain that shoots through me like an poison arrow, or a close-range bullet, at the mere mention of your name.

I’d wish it gone, all of it, my love for you, but I can’t bear that either. In so many ways it is all I have left. But the stronger parts of me, the proud bits, wants to say go, just fucking leave, get out of my skin, my heart, my memories. The weaker parts win, hanging on for dear life, shreds of hope circling each wrist, your name lying naked on my lips. Just because I heard your name, just because I can’t seem to let this go.

I wish I could say leave, to myself, to my feelings, to what feels like never ever forever.