So hold a light to my misery :: SOTD

Heart of the Matter :: The Libertines

“With all the battering it’s taken,
I’m surprised it’s still ticking.”

Woke up early to watch and found myself shattered, in tears and in awe. I have thoughts that are spinning and a pain in my chest that I cannot fully articulate yet, but can feel. Bravo to bravery and courage and honesty and artistry. This is not an easy watch, especially if you have love for this band, and for all four members, and especially if you’ve been a witness to the years past with them. I kept thinking of their documentary title, there are no innocent bystanders.

A commentary not just on their life and experience, but on society and media and human nature, voyeurism, self destruction and the desire to watch others break.

This really shook me up.

The respect I have for this band, the love, and emotions, are sometimes hard to explain. This is one of the reasons though I care the way I do. There is something about putting yourself in art that connects in a way that nothing else does, whether in song, story, poetry, painting, film, or any other art form. It is difficult though, to bare yourself that way for all to see, and I think it is knowing that fact that makes this video tear me apart.

On a personal level, too, it hits on my own self-destructive patterns and the way that sometimes I have felt that people are more drawn to me when I am at my most broken. This is the part of my reaction that I still cannot put into words completely, but its in my head and heart right now, and I think I truly needed to remember and contemplate and imagine.

Thank you to all of you in The Libertines. As I said about the album, cheers and tears!

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