“Everybody knows that you love me baby,
everybody knows that you really do,
everybody knows that you’ve been faithful,
give or take a night or two.”
it must go on
by me
these stories between us
the drama and the disarray
none of them make the papers
none of them matter at the end of the day
yet here we are
tangled and torn into pieces
throwing the same three words at each other
like enemy fire
like a sharp knife blade
and all this damage done
you know I can’t shield my eyes
what with your face in every photograph
in this cycle of come and go
they all love to watch the beautiful fall
highlighting its crumbling collapse
the twist in your so-called sobriety
vulnerability the next best thing
so you slice up your exes
bleed regret from the softest parts of your skin
go on and blame me for everything
but there is nowhere to go now
the airbags deployed when we hit that brick wall
totatlling us into some undisclosed wreckage
while you stared up at the stars whispering
come here and just come on
you know what Oscar Wilde would say
but these gutters are full of needles and neglect
and my skin is now soaked to the bone
as I drown in this once upon a time lie
that you loved me at all
so baby this is it
this is the end of the line
the last track on the album
skipping from all these replays
everybody knows the way you will take this
yes and everybody will be right there singing-a-long
clamoring for one more choreographed collapse
penning you as some blue-eyed sacred prince
clinging to his right hand co-star next of kin
as this once held hope falls right into the sea
well I hope this will make them all happy
that all that they see will someday come true
because at sunrise this ship will be set to sail
and I will have no choice but to turn and run
yes turn and run
Everybody Knows :: Concrete Blonde
This is probably lame of me but I’ve never heard this song so I’m listening now. I love your poem, especially how the line that includes “everybody” gets longer and then the last line is short and to the point–not sure if it’s on purpose or subconscious but it’s cool.
Thank you. It was intentional, glad it worked. Did you like the song? It was featured on the Pump Up the Volume soundtrack – and is quite a good cover of Leonard Cohen.
I kind of liked it but I think it might be an acquired taste for me, one I wouldn’t have come upon on my own, which needs a few listens too. I like the vocals a lot especially toward the end of the song. I thought it sounded like something from an old movie soundtrack and there you go. Next time I see the movie I’ll probably notice the song.=)
PS: Did you decide on Antioch?
Everything in me says yes to Antioch, except the cost. Orientation is Wednesday, but I have to be in Jersey for work and since it’s a holiday weekend I haven’t been able to reach anyone since I found out I was accepted. So, I don’t know what to do just yet. I’m pretty stressed to be honest…
Oh god! Are you enjoying your other school well enough? It may not be Antioch but if it seemed to go okay so far AND you have a huge conflict coming up with Antioch b/c of work travel maybe just stay put, save some money on the tution and you can transfer after this semester? Boooo to the cost. I hate how expensive education is here. Textbooks alone are murder and a rip off not to mention tuition piled on. That’s why I just left my left school…my aid was significantly lowered and I couldn’t find the funds. There were other factors I considered but in the end even if I wanted to stay there I couldn’t come up with the money and now I’m at a state university.
I’m thinking that they want you as a student and they want your tuition so if you miss orientation even if it says mandatory you can probably get around it. They might have an online orientation or maybe they’ll just arrange for you to meet somebody when you get back. When does their semester begin again? It seems so crunched between now, your work travel and orientation Wednesday but if you have a week or so before the classes begin I bet you can work something out. Don’t stress!! (easier said that done)…if Antioch doesn’t work out you’re already enrolled elsewhere and that’s not so bad right? I hope whatever you want the most is what you end up with. It would’ve been nice if Antioch didn’t send your letter so close to orientation too…what took them so long! FUCKERS. (sorry)
Oh it isn’t missing orientation I’m worried/stressed about. There is a make up day, I just need to find out when. I am stressed I can’t be there so I could discuss my financial options with them, so I could make a decision about what to do about classes I’m taking right now. To be honest, I do not love the school, nor the classes, at the community college I’m in. It’s me and a ton of 19 year olds who are on their phones the whole time and talking to each other instead of listening to the professors and not taking any of it seriously. It’s part of why I want to go to Antioch so badly, but it is very expensive – much higher than the Cal State schools, I just found out. So I am not sure what to do.
Ohh I see. I understand that. I’ve had some rough classes where the kids were doing the same thing and one where I remember sitting by two boys who looked 17 and they kept saying everything as “gay”. It seems to happen more in intro classes since those fill the general requirements and people who are not planning to go further in that subject/major will take the intro class. I feel ya it IS annoying.
If I suggest anything you already know then I apologize now but I’m trying to think of what might help a little. I’ll just preface by saying that school started for me last Monday and the Friday before I honestly didn’t know if I’d be there on that Monday. The process of getting everything squared away was slow and I had one week to do it from the time that my school completed everything on their end(like admitting me, giving me my student # and email, giving me the link to log into my account). I felt so pressured and stuck. I had a major freaking meltdown but it all worked out. Not that it will work out for you, each case is different, but I hope it means that’s possible that it’ll all come together for you too!!
Okay so:
Did your school give you a person # or student i.d # yet or anything like that? As well as information on how to log into your school account? Once they do that you can get in and see if you have a financial aid award yet and see the bill and what you owe. You can probably sign up for a payment plan if you didn’t get loans to cover the balance after all your aid from grants/scholarships/ ect are applied.
I was just going to dive into a whole long comment about aid packages and this and that but maybe I’ll wait.
So anyway I’m sorry you’re going through this. But if you do want either advice or just to be listened to you can email me.
Also: not sure if you’d consider this or you feel like you need to start school NOW (which I get!) but could you also talk to Antioch and defer your start date…like start next semester so you can chill a little bit and get everything organized on a more relaxed schedule?
I’m thinking you could make an appointment with somebody from financial aid to discuss your aid package and get on a payment plan even if it’s after school starts. Since you’re a last minute admission you may have a later tuition due date or at the very least if they see you have aid pending they’ll not expect you to pay up yet which is good.
School should be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. =(!!!!!!!!
If we learn German we can go to a German university for free. What do you think?
What took them so long was my transcripts. There was a mix up with one of my schools and it got delayed. They actually extended the deadline for me to review it, which was very cool.
Antioch classes start in October.
Okay I’m sorry I called them Fuckers in caps. Sorry Antioch!!
They start in October? That’s GREAT. You have a lot of time to sort this out even if you’re busy busy busy with work and life. Take a deep breath!
I thought maybe they started in a week or two but not until October is fantastic. You’re still rushed of course, it’s not like it’s July but this is good! You probably feel zero relief from reading this but I really took a deep breath when I saw October. It will be hard but you can do it.
🙂 Thanks for caring and being here for me. I’m actually only really stressed about the financial part of it. I really REALLY want to go there, but I just don’t know how feasible it is. I’m also not good at not knowing information, I such at waiting and feeling in limbo, so I may be jumping to fear and freak out mode without even knowing what my financial aid situation is.
I do have an ID number and access to the student portal, but nothing is up in regards to financial aid award, nor costs or tuitions due, or even due dates – yet.
I forgot to say: that’s cool about the poetry! I had a tough time, when I took a poetry course, following the millions of rules for different styles and making it work but you’d be brilliant. I hope you take a poetry class, you’ll be THAT student that everyone is jealous of.