Keep Art Alive :: “Evanesce” :: Art by Margarita Georgiadis
“Don’t say it’s useless,
don’t say forget it,
don’t bring me wishes of silly dreams.”
You dream of flying, of escaping, of leaving everything that pins you to the ground. Some nights I think I can see them poking out beneath the sheets, a set of wings brittle yet beautiful, pointed at the ends, growing with each middle of the night sleep. I touch the ends, feeling how sharp they are, like a needle, like a knife, like the words that shot out of my mouth at you last night.
I feel trigger-happy lately, tightly wound and ready to fire. With the sun so hot in the sky I feel exposed, bled dry, and feral. You trap me with promises, with lies, with a calm I have buoyed my heart to. I try to fight it off, biting the feeding fingers, kicking at the cages our lives have become, as you keep saying it will all be just fine.
But each night I feel you drifting, hear your whispered goodbyes that remind me of my own travelling soul. Maybe you don’t hear it, maybe it is just a silly dream, but with each passing night I lay there sleepless, dreamless, restless and waiting for your wings to appear again.
And when I see them, when they draw blood from my hands, I feel like I’m falling away from myself, away from this air conditioned room, and from the things that keep us pinned to the ground. I feel myself trying to pin you to me instead, hoping that when you take flight you will drag me along, ripping me to shreds in the process, turning me into an angel again.