“Fearless on my breath,
gentle impulsion,
shakes me,
makes me lighter,
fearless on my breath.”
Before
I fancied myself the lucky one
when you chose my name
took my hand
brought me into the circle
of your glittering life
You thought me a novice
in the ways of the world
considered yourself my teacher
of how I should be
I changed myself from the inisde out
rearranging my ways and means
tried on fantastic delusions
of what love means
You laughed at me losing faith
in all I so wanted to believe
breaking apart all my memories
with cruel words and calculated twists
You seemed so grand
tearing apart my innocence
I consoled myself with guilty reasoning
deeming myself as an ask for it
the whispers of no
haunting sounds in my bedroom walls
I knew I invited you in
You decided me to be old news
only so much you could take and turn
until my will
went so far and away
No fun to be the leader
of this tired parade
when the girl is dead weight to you
so you left me behind
like trash
and cigarette butts
I lost me in all of you
took years of time to say my name
without hearing the crack in your voice
in my head
You broke me and scattered the pieces
but glue and time
they brought me back
living through it made me strong
Survival really is the sweetest revenge
for me to wield
Now it is the love
the reflection of the lucky one
of love’s moving pieces
of the me before you
(found poem from the late 90’s, written by me)
