“Yesterday I got lost in the circus,
feeling like such a mess.
Now I’m down,
I’m just hanging on the corner,
I can’t help but reminisce.”
Louise paints each nail a different shade of red, her thoughts going gray, like stagnant city pavement, like the way her heart feels as of late. She feels the rough edges of recent days, their weight just a intake of breath away from collapsing on her. She smiles, painting her lips yet another red, like blood, like violent disregard.
The cracks only show in the quiet moments, when she thinks no one notices, when Louise’s eyes slightly turn to the left, her breath hitching deep down in her chest.
There was a moment, split-second in nature, where she felt like something lost was making a return. Echo, the bartender who works the bar on the corner of Sunset and long forgotten pours her another shot, saying “drink up darling, the future comes whether we wait, or want.”
Louise closes her eyes, tosses the burn into her mouth, leaving kiss marks on the glass. With her eyes so tightly closed she lets her body relax, allowing the spin to take her into the center of pending change, disarray.
She fools herself sometimes in the way she drinks, the ways she thinks, in the way she chooses to feel, and not feel. But, in those still hours that turn late night into day it is hard for Louise to deny the truth.
What they had was everything, and nothing, but who is she to pretend it is anything still? Cool disregard is miles of warm weather compared to how Troy treats her now, the resounding busy signal and the tape whir of unanswered calls are all she has to hold close now, that and lip stained shots of fury and fire.
Colors (live) :: Amos Lee
from the album, Amos Lee