A glimpse back into my nineteen year old self…

You crept back in when I had just about forgotten, or maybe just given up. I think that was part of your style. your pitch. I did not try so hard this time, refused to, letting myself be just that, myself, and it lit something up in you, my lack of effort. You buzzed around me, lighting matches, opening bottles, wrapping gauze and paper wings around me. We lay in the back of your car, the windows fogging to the point that we could barely able to make out the Drive-In screen, the muted voices, the soundtrack. I gave you something new to me, a one time shot, a milestone. You were careful with me, even if I did not realize it at the time.

I started floating, my mind began to drive, and I found it so hard to stay within my skin. It was not a mistake, that night, never a regret felt. I know you were overwhelmed when I told you, I saw it in your eyes, heard it in your voice, could feel it radiating off your skin even. You felt a temporary burden of responsibility, like you owed me something. You did not owe me a thing. You were just what I needed then, the perfect person for that moment. And, we moved passed the awkward pauses, we did.

Though I have at times said you broke my heart — I know that would be a lie. You left your act behind, that night. Your words opened up, you opened up. You treated me with something rare to you, and I know what I gave you was rare, as well. We exchanged gifts that night, and above all else, I knew you would always be my friend long after the passion, and the chase, faded away.

Life on a Chain (live) :: Pete Yorn

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