“Certain things i love,
spend my time.
I guess i’ll have to unhook those hooks.”
Backspace, I almost forgot you skipped right over a moment, and, maybe I want to, some things are better left unwritten. It was unexpected, all of it, even the start, meeting you. I was supposed to be with an old friend, singing along with hands held, but, he had gone off and left me for a simple flirtation. I was bitter, hurt, but refused to melt into my bedroom walls. So I was there, and so were you, John Taylor hat, the deepest brown eyes I have ever seen, still, even now, and that cocky laughter and well read wit. Intelligence is my weakness, and you were bleeding it all over me that night, and, I shook in response.
I thought I would never see you again, though you took my number along with you when you walked away. I waited for the ringing, but the days faded into weeks, and I let you slip my mind. At the moment of nearly erased you appeared again. We had the most awkward first date ever, the stuff they warn you about in cheesy women’s magazines. You were testing me, even then, though I did not see see it that way. The only moment of connection was the lingering embrace on my porch, then in a flash you were gone. I stood there conflicted; touched, but empty. You left me wanting more, and I suppose you knew that, guess that was your plan from the start. Again, more weeks floated by, with the echoing silence of no ringing.
Strange to rewind, and to have this in my mind again. Though this story is never truly forgotten, it is not often that I look at the details of the start of it, resurrecting the girl who I was back then. I realize that I rarely write bout him, about that time, and about the way it all felt to me. I suppose there is more to it then I sometimes realize, a lot to put down, to take out, to examine, and to shed. Funny how the past can come up on you like that; a chorus, a refrain, remember and rewind.
I would not want any of it now. I like it left back there, in the past. That said, there is so much I did not realize I felt about it, and the music, it reminds me not to erase it all, to not let myself forget.
Hook in Her Head (live) :: Throwing Muses