Will you take me as I am? :: video of the day

California (live) :: Joni Mitchell

Some days we are still silent,
bitter,
drifting through rooms like shadows, like ghosts.
I was always wanting to scream out and say something,
tell someone,
instead I just sat and took it all in,
the good and the bad,
and all that damn indifference.
In my alone time I could mimic all of them,
take on their voices,
their sounds.
They never knew my heart.
I discovered the world of magazines,
of false pretenses,
of fragility;
glossy pictures that seemed so unreal,
so perfect.
I wanted to achieve that, somehow.
I would sit, cross-legged, in the back of my closet,
a light green flashlight in hand to help cast all those California-ized impression.
All you have to do, girl, is just pretend.