Today has been rough in more ways than I care to count or calculate, and I am feeling sore from the inside out. I look around and I see hurt painted messily across some of those I know and love, and at the same time I feel the ache of a lonely I cannot quite define inside of myself. Distance and time and certain lacks are adding up and mixing around in the fact that I have been fighting to breathe all day. I want to be sitting in the sand, fast forward in time to a warm August evening with the sun still in the sky, lying down in the sand with a best friend, breathing in the salty sea air, breathing it in with ease.
Off in the distance is a Ferris Wheel, a circle of the skies the limit and “we all fall again“. It reminds me that when you truly connect with another soul it comes around and around, never staying far for too long. Time and oceans and miles and distance mean nothing when the cord takes hold; love brings us all back, and together, eventually, even if the names and courses change some.
It has been far too long since I have stood by the ocean, or in it. I find myself longing for the salt water in my hair and the sand between my toes. I have said it before, and I mean it with all that I am – the ocean, she soothes me.
So, I will close my eyes and make believe it is August. That I can take those I love to the ocean with me, and that I will get through this rough patch. Music helps, too, there is always music.
“But I’d much rather feel the heat of August,
than be sheltered and numb.”
Half Harvest :: Michael Penn