Tell me how I should be :: Blue Valentine


6. Blue Valentine (2010)
movies seen in 2013

You Always Hurt the One You Love scene


I didn’t want to be somebody’s husband and I didn’t want to be somebody’s dad, that wasn’t my goal in life. But somehow it was. I work so I can do that.” ~ Dean

I cannot seem to shake this film since watching it this week, I feel as if the characters and the story have embedded themselves underneath my skin and are floating around in my bloodstream, still prickling my emotions and making me feel a little bit raw. Part of me wants to say that this is the saddest, most depressing film I have ever seen, part of me wants to say it is one of the best movies I have ever seen, and the other part of me finds it hard to breathe without crying when thinking about this film. To say that it has shaken me up would be a complete understatement, I am so much more than shaken up.

The last time I felt this way was after I saw Before Sunset (the sequel to Before Sunrise) for the first time. The emotional upset and anger I felt was almost visceral, and I felt like it would all just explode out of me, out of my heart and soul. I hated that the age I was at was the one portrayed as bitter and jaded, sad and full of regret. I wanted to believe that the innocence and romance from the first film could still happen, that that kind of magic not only existed, but could last somehow. The dreamer in me was heartbroken and wanted to revolt from the pain.

The story of Cindy and Dean is so heartbreaking to me, and also so very familiar. I have been there, been in that magic of first meeting and falling in love, and I have been on the flip side when it all falls apart, and I know exactly what that kind of decimation of love feels like. Scenes in this film felt ripped from moments of my own life and it hurt badly to watch. That dreamer in me previously mentioned, she was holding her breath for a happy ending, even though deep inside she knew that there just is not one.


The performances were amazing in this film, and my on-the-fence feeling for Ryan Gosling that I have had for quite some time was finally pushed to the side of loving him as an actor. The complexity he showed in the character of Dean was incredible to me, and the evolution of this character was amazing. He was by far my favorite in the film. Michelle Williams was quite brilliant, too, but I had a soft spot for Dean, even though I know very well that Cindy is more like the side of the story I have lived through in my life.

You and Me :: Penny and the Quarters

I got us a song. You know, like our song that will just be for you and me.” ~ Dean

My heart is broken from this movie, and I am still shattered from it, but at the same time I loved it. It is definitely being added to my favorite movie list, definitely.

Blue Valentine trailer

3 thoughts on “Tell me how I should be :: Blue Valentine

  1. best movie about a failing relationship, couldn’t have been done better; when one falls out of love this is what happens, and if you experienced it this will punch you in the heart because you see yourself in it.

    1. A punch to the heart is the perfect description, that is exactly how it felt to me, mostly as you say, because I have experienced it. It was a brilliant movie though, so real it hurts.

  2. It’s not a depressing movie. If you can see, it shows human flaws and how expectations get the best of us. It shows how we take for granted the greatest and simplest things in life…our connections with people we love. It’s an open ended are left to figure whether or not they get back together..I can only assume you’re a pessimist then…when one learns of the hurt, they learn to appreciate.

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