Cough Syrup :: Young the Giant
1. Mortality and I have recently had a meeting of the mind, and I have had to face up to some repressed fears and feelings I have that I could not let lie dormant any longer. I admit it, I am afraid to die, and I am even more afraid of wasting life and time. Part of me wants to jot down a list of things I want to do and goals I want to accomplish, but I am afraid by putting them down it will bring death even closer to me. It is an irrational fear, but a fear nonetheless. So, instead I try, every single day, to take a step closer to a goal and take a leap towards health in a possibly futile attempt to keep my mortality at bay a little bit longer.
2. This song is both life-affirming and heartbreaking to me, all at once, and when I sing-a-long at the tip-top of my voice the tears always come.
3. There are days I want to run away from everything and anyone. The feeling, the wanting, is so strong that I have to hold even tighter than usual to the steering wheel and guide myself home. Perhaps it is an internal battle with my gypsy soul, or maybe it is the often overwhelming stress of just living; whatever it is, the impact and temptation is so vivid and realized that my heart races in the struggle to turn it around.
4. Regret is something I try desperately hard not to feel, but it is there whether I want to name it and give it life, or not. Some days it stings and other days it sings, and on days like this it sits in the corner and winks at me, reminding me of paths I maybe could have taken, but did not.
5. I have rid myself of my last few vices except for coffee and music, and those, well they are with me to stay. I will carry those addictions to my very last breath.