Before you changed my mind

keep art alive; art by Will Murai

I’ll never let you go,
if you promise not to fade away;
never fade away.”

It is like watching a scene from a sixth story window, across the way, in someone else’s “life”. We make up stories, we create reasons, we wonder in awe – but we never do know what the other person feels. Love is exchanged, but do we actually feel it? Do we race to say the words, to cling to the idea of it, so quickly that we lose sight of what it is meant to mean?

In that rush and push we keep the glass between us, two people separated by air and space, and two buildings with walls and limitations. We glance across, we draw hearts and throw kisses, we sing – but we never touch.

We list out grievances and disappointments, troubles and missteps, and lies – as if we can come to some kind of reconciliation. But, the space is still there, the distance and the walls. and now there is a moat circling my heart with trap doors and armed guards because I never want to hurt like that again. In the years between, in all this time, I have learned not to let myself truly fall in love.

Such a shame because I always hoped to love someone who wished on stars, who believed in music, and who never would want to let go.

Starlight :: Muse

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