Your arms were strong, sun-kissed bronze, and they felt like safety when you wrapped them around me. No one has ever held me the way you did, like you would never let me go, ever. We could hear the ocean waves kissing the shore just outside, and the off-and-on Summer rain. Those weeks in the Keys we lived like vagabonds. We rarely dressed, we rarely made it out of bed at all. No one has ever made me feel as beautiful as you did, nor as wanted.

This still hurts a hell of a lot.

I guess that is what no one realizes, or believes. That it still aches to realize you are gone from this world, forever. That despite the bad times, and the demise of what we had tried to make together, that I loved him. And all those memories, especially the ones that no one knew except us, well now I am the only one who keeps them alive.

That Summer, in that room, with the waves and the rain just outside, you used to sing this song to me. You said it would forever be mine, just like you would.

Yes, this still hurts to listen to, a hell of a lot.

(I’d Like To) Volunteer, Please :: Dramarama

3 thoughts on “Think of all we had

  1. this is so beautiful, and I think maybe he’s not gone, not completely, that maybe he still is holding you, your heart, and that’s why it still hurts, because if the hurting stopped then he’d really be gone, so maybe the pain is a twisted form of beauty. I’ve learned that love is rarely perfect, but that any love is magic even in the darkest times. or maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about 😉

  2. It would be very him to hold on, even after death, so I do think you know what you are talking about. And, I try to keep his memory in-tact, especially the good ones, as our two children may want to know them someday. Plus, they help me to remember them, too. And yes, the love we had was magic…even if it did not last.

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