5 Things :: In the place where I make no mistakes

Waltz #2 (live) :: Elliott Smith

1. There is something within this song that delves deep into my psyche, into the locked up parts of my head and heart, and circles around with the sadness within me. It is not unwelcome, though, and it does not feel self-indulgently destructive to listen to. It emotionally cuts me up, though, and reminds me that there are so many stories untold within me.

2. Cathy’s Clown (Everly Brothers) was a song that I used to hear during long, cross-country trips in my Grandparents RV. I’d be lying awake in the dark listening to whatever I could tune-in on the small transistor radio, with the one-ear headphone plugged in.

3. I actually would have loved to hear Elliott Smith cover Cathy’s Clown.

4. I read somewhere that the song was written about his Mother, and her new husband, and how estranged he and she became after their marriage. There is something that resonates to any kind of loss of love to me, be it a break-up, or the ambiguous loss of someone who leaves us, breaking pieces of us when they go.

5. This song makes me want to have a long conversation with Elliott Smith, if that were even possible, to tell him I get it, I feel it, too, and to hang on (please). Stick around, tell Mr. Man to fuck off, and believe in a place where you belong. It is hard some days for any of us to hang on (truly).

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