I’ve got nothing today but smile

I am learning to recognize that every day that I wake up to I have choices to make. That may sound simple, I mean we all make choices as to what to wear, whether to have a second (or third) cup of coffee before we leave, what to have for lunch, but there are other choices we have in front of us, hidden ones, bigger ones, ones that impact us more than we possibly realize. We have opportunities that we often overlook, or at least I know I have, in exchange for being locked up in our own stresses and worries, and head space. Sometimes we have to say a word or two we did not think to say, say hello to someone we had not spoken to before, step out of our comfort zone and grow a potential friendship, take a different off-ramp to work, and tell someone you care about them.

I’ll admit, I’m pretty good at the last one. I’ve never been one to shy away from telling someone “I love you” or that “I care”. That said, I’m not sure I have done that bang up a job at actually showing those feelings to those I feel them for. I have spent too much time, especially lately, spinning around in my own carnival of miseries and stressors. I worry about money, I get anxious about work, I grow defensive when I doubt my own abilities, and I over-think almost everything. This takes up copious amounts of space and emotional energy.

I have been actively trying to reclaim some of that space and energy, and open myself up more. It is a slow, uphill climb for me and some days are harder than others to work up a smile for myself, but I am trying. The hard stuff, it is challenging for a reason I like to think, because if it is something I am willing to work at it is worth it. I want to matter to myself and those I love, and I want to feel like I matter and for those I love to feel appreciated. More importantly, I want them to feel it.

There are so many places to go in this life, and so many ways I can make a difference. It can all feel very overwhelming. For now, I would like to just make someone else smile today and I would like to find something to smile about. We can choose to be happy – there are options out there everyday, and helping someone else realize this, too, will help grow the choices exponentially.

This song is making me smile right now:

The Only Living Boy In New York :: Simon and Garfunkel

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