And its hard to say you don’t

I stumble half-heartedly through the day to day,
picking up strays.
thoughts, grey hair, memories.

Sometimes it all appears to me like a snapshot,
of someone else’s place to be.
and, I’m just a shadow reflected on the wall.
in the flickering brush of your lashes,
on your rosy blushed cheeks.
I wonder how we ended up on this carousel ride,
circling around,
arms in the air, eyes closed, mesmerized.
Did I once roll an ice blue pair of dice?
Were you blindfolded and spun around?
Your finger landing here now today.
Saying here it is,
where I choose to go.
Choose to be, choose to love,
choose to breathe.
Or, because my other hand was just full of decay.
I lie awake as the numbers switch and fade,
time is just a lyrical dream to me now.
When you see the day from the night,
upside down,
writing while the world sleeps,
there are answers that nobody cares to acknowledge.
The light of day makes them too blind to see.
And, I’m not sure if I chose well,
or if I just let it all choose me.
You hand me the dice and say it’s your turn,
roll again,
but I pass.
I’m worn,
consequence might look better on a different girl.

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